I’m sitting in Heathrow waiting for my flight home, and am still thinking about the highlights of what turned out to be a wonderful conference. I haven’t yet blogged about the events in which I participated, so here’s what happened.

On Friday, I was part of a panel on religious symbolism. When I first heard they’d placed me on this panel, I was puzzled because I don’t think of my books as having a lot of religious themes, but there I was, sitting onstage with Ann Perry, Chris Kuzneski, and a French author named Michel Benoit. Our moderator, Natasha Cooper, was most curious about our reactions to Dan Brown’s Da Vinci Code, wondering why we thought it was so popular.

Which happens to be a really interesting question. Ann Perry hadn’t read the book, so she didn’t comment. Michel Benoit thought the book’s success had to do with spectacularly good marketing. I’ve heard a number of writers speak of the book with disdain, criticizing its writing, its themes, its factual and geographic inaccuracies. But when I read the book, I was just looking to have a good time.

And I did have fun.

I was on a plane home from Paris when I cracked open the galley. About halfway through the book, I had to get up to use the restroom, and as I got out of my seat, I suddenly caught sight of the passenger sitting right behind me. He was wearing what looked like Opus Dei robes. I kid you not — he was dressed exactly like the villains in the novel, and I was spooked. That little event alone made reading the book a pretty memorable experience.

I think the reason for the book’s success was its connection with women. It is a feminist, subversive novel that tells women that, yes, they may indeed have had a role in the foundation of the church. It made devout Christians feel a bit naughty reading it, and that was a big part of its success.

On Sunday, I was scheduled to be the last author featured on the program. I was supposed to be interviewed onstage by a radio personality, so I had no need to prepare a speech. I love these sorts of presentations — no stress, just smile and answer questions.

The interviewer never showed up. We still don’t know what happened to him. Would I have a problem with that? they asked me. Could I just go onstage solo and talk for an hour to a packed room?

Luckily, I never seem to run out of things to say when it comes to the writing business. So I walked onstage and just started talking. About why I write crime novels. About where the ideas come from. About the cool things I’ve learned while doing my research.

Later I was asked how I could do that — just get up before an audience and fill an hour without notes. And my only answer to that is: longevity in the business. It’s the same advice I give to newly published authors who are discouraged by how few people line up to buy their books. Or to authors who freeze in front of a bookstore crowd because they’ve run out of things to say. You have to write enough books, collect enough war stories, and with time, you’ll collect both stories and readers. These things don’t happen overnight. You just have to survive long enough in the business.

So if you’re starting out as a published author, keep track of the things that happen to you. The weird anecdotes, the creepy fans, the fun facts you turn up in your research. When you talk to an audience, take note of what makes your audience laugh or lean forward in their chairs — and file those remarks away for future use, because you’ll know they’re proven crowd-pleasers. After five books or ten books, you’ll have amassed a large array of war stories. You’ll know about how long each story takes to tell. You’ll have a series of set pieces that you can trot out when you need to fill time.

You’ll never be at a loss for words.

I’m writing this from the absolutely lovely resort town of Harrogate in the UK, where I arrived on Thursday evening. I’m attending the Crime Writing Festival, which is being held at the Crown Hotel.

The hotel is filled with writers, fans and editors from around the world. In fact, one of the first authors I met (on the train up from London) was Johan Theorin, a Swedish author whose books are starting to make a big splash here in the UK.

(As you can see, Johan and I share a love for great beers.)

One of the great aspects of this festival is that each presentation receives the festival’s full attention — there are no simultaneous panels or programs, so that one doesn’t have to sit onstage and look out at a half-empty auditorium. And the panels have been fascinating, although I must confess that it’s taken me a few days to tune in to the various UK accents, which to this American’s ear are sometimes incomprehensible. I found French novelist Michel Benoit’s strong French accent easier to understand than some of the English I’m hearing around here!

Some of the memorable moments that I can recall off the top of my head:

On opening night, panel moderator Natasha Cooper asked each of the panelists onstage: “What’s the worst thing you’ve ever done?” I could almost see the panelists squirming in their chairs as they tried to decide whether to tell the truth.

Friday, on the “True Lies” program, a panel of authors who are also real police officers or attorneys (Nigel McCrery, Charlie Owen, John Connor and Frances Fyfield) described some of the weird real-life cases they’ve experienced. And Charlie Owen, I think it was, spoke of the man who had been in the midst of picking his nose when he had a car accident which drove his finger straight up his nostril and into his brain, killing him. “A case of fatal nose-picking”, as she put it.

Today, a much-anticipated panel called “Bloody Women” played to a packed house. Chelsea Cain, Val McDermid, Simon Beckett and Mark Billingham discussed whether women can get away with more explicit violence in their novels than can men. Because emotions (and opinions) are strong on this topic, we were all expecting male vs. female arguments to break out, but in fact they were all quite civilized. No controversy after all, which led someone to say, “So what’s the argument going to be next year? Big vs small?” Mark Billingham responded with: “Big vs. small what?”

And moderator Stuart MacBride’s hilarious answer: “Mark, come with me into the men’s room and I’ll demonstrate.”

I’m leaving for the UK, to attend the Harrogate Crime Writing Festival.  I hope to be blogging from the road, so here’s hoping I can manage to find enough wi-fi coverage to use my new laptop.  I’m looking forward to catching up with some writing pals, including Joe Finder, Jeffrey Deaver and Simon Kernick, plus get the chance to meet some writers I’ve never met before, including the mysterious Andy McNab.

 While I’m gone, you can also check out my blogpost on Murderati, which will appear next Tuesday, the 15th.

 

I’ve missed you all.  I’ve missed the community here, and the chance to dish about the industry.  It’s been a few months (has it?) since I really sat down and wrote a post.  I mean, a real post that wasn’t about selling my latest book or announcing promotional stuff, which I guess is the real purpose of an author’s blog, a purpose that I never stuck to because I always had other things I wanted to talk about.  And even though I enjoyed the vacation, there many, many times when something startling would happen, or I’d hear a conversation, and I’d think, “gosh, I’d really like to blog about that!” 

But I didn’t.

I’m still a little leery about wading into these waters again.  I’m worried that I’ll once again stick my foot in my mouth and offend someone.  But I’ve come to the conclusion that there’s a certain subsegment of people out there who’ll be offended if I say the sky is blue, and sometimes you just have to ignore those people and speak your mind.  Those people will be offended no matter what you say.  Life is too short to care what they think.  (Yeah, and please keep reminding me of this.)

I was also lured back into blogging by all the emails I’ve received over the past few months.  And then I heard the somewhat startling news that I landed on the 100 top female bloggers list.  Which I didn’t even know existed until someone sent me the link to it.

So I guess despite all the gaffes I’ve made here (and will certainly make in the future), I must be striking some notes that people are identifying with.

My business of writing gem for this week is actually stolen from the June 23 issue of Publishers Weekly, a column called “Authors & Writers By the Numbers.”  Some stats:

Total number of authors and writers, 2005: 185,276

Median income for full-time authors: $50,800

Median income for all authors: $38,000

Median income for male authors: $47,300

Median income for female authors: $33,300

Percent of authors who are minorities: 10.8%

Source: National Endowment for the Arts study, 1990-2005

You know what?  I have a really, really hard time believing some of these statistics.

That median income surprises me, especially after I saw the Novelists Ink survey in which a large percentage of multi-published novelists can’t earn a living on their writing.  I’m also very skeptical of the number of minority authors.  Whenever I attend a writer’s conference, I find that I’m one of very few minorities in attendance.  I’m also surprised to find that male authors out-earn female authors, because I’ve always thought that female authors outsell male authors.

So these statistics surprise me. 

Finally, there’s this statistic:

Highest ranking city in authors per capita:  Santa Fe, New Mexico.

Okay, that I believe.

 

 

 

 

 I’m having trouble posting to my “author events” page, so I thought I’d give you a preview of how the rest of my year is looking so far.  I do hope I’ll be visiting a city near you!

 

 HARROGATE CRIME FESTIVAL, UK

JULY 18, 3:30 PM — Crown Hotel, Harrogate

Tess will be on a panel about religious symbolism, along with Chris Kuzneski, Anne Perry, Michael Benoit, and Natasha Cooper.

JULY 20, 11:30 AM — Crown Hotel, Harrogate

Onstage conversation with interviewer Paul Blezard.

 

THE KEEPSAKE — U.S. BOOK TOUR

 

SEPTEMBER 9, 2008 — CAMDEN, MAINE

6:00 PM: Owl and Turtle Bookshop, 32 Washington Street.  207-236-4769

 

SEPTEMBER 10

FALMOUTH, MAINE.  1:00 PM: Books, Etc.  240 Route 1.  207-781-3784

BANGOR, MAINE.  7:00 PM: Borders Books and Music, 116 Bangor Mall Road.  207-990-3300

 

SEPTEMBER 11 — SOUTH PORTLAND, MAINE

7:00 PM: Borders Books and Music, 430 Gorham Road.  207-775-6110

 

SEPTEMBER 12: BELFAST, MAINE

6:00 PM: The Fertile Mind bookshop, 105 Main Street.  207-338-2498

 

SEPTEMBER 16: NASHVILLE, TN

7:00 PM: Davis Kidd bookstore, 2121 Green Hills Village Drive. 

 

SEPTEMBER 17 — LEXINGTON, KY

7:00 PM: Joseph-Beth Booksellers, 161 Lexington Green.  859-273-2911

 

SEPTEMBER 18 — DAYTON, OH

Time tk: Books and Co.  937-429-6302

 

SEPTEMBER 20 — PITTSBURGH, PA

11:30 AM: Mystery Lovers Bookshop, 412-361-3581

 

SEPTEMBER 23 — SOUTH HADLEY, MA

7:00 PM: Odyssey Bookshop, 9 College Street.  413-534-7307

 

SEPTEMBER 24: ENFIELD, CT

Local library event.  Details tk

 

OCTOBER 1 — SEATTLE, WA

12:00 PM: Seattle Mystery Bookshop, 117 Cherry Street.  206-587-5737

 

OCTOBER 2 — CLAYTON, CA

7:00 PM: Clayton Books, 5433 D, Clayton Road.  925-673-3325

 

OCTOBER 3 — HALF MOON BAY, CA

7:00 PM: Bay Book Company, 80 North Cabrillo Highway, Suite F.  650-726-3488

 

OCTOBER 7– BROOKLINE, MA

7:00 PM: Library event.  Brookline Adult and Community Education Center, 115 Greenough Street.

 

OCTOBER 8 — FRAMINGHAM, MA

7:00 PM:  Barnes and Noble, 1 Worcester Road.  508-628-5567

 

OCTOBER 9 — NEWINGTON, NH

7:00 PM: Barnes and Noble, 45 Gosling Road.  603-422-7733

 

OCTOBER 11 — ST. LOUIS, MO

St. Louis Big Reads Festival — Big Mystery Panel.  Details tk.

 

OCTOBER 14 — BUCKSPORT, MAINE

6:00 PM: Bookstacks, 71 Main Street.  207-469-8992

 

OCTOBER 17 — NEWBURYPORT, MA

7:00 PM: Jabberwocky Books, 50 Water Street, Tannery Mill #1.  978-465-9359

 

OCTOBER 21: BRUNSWICK, MAINE

7:00 PM: Talk at Brunswick Library

 

OCTOBER 23: SWAMPSCOTT, MA

7:00 PM: Talk at Swampscott Library

 

OCTOBER 28: NEW YORK CITY, NY and MADISON, CT

Lunchtime: speech at the New York Institute of Technology, NYC

7:00 PM: RJ Julia Bookshop, 768 Boston Post Road, Madison, CT.  203-245-3959 x14

 

OCTOBER 29 — PHILADELPHIA

7:30 PM: Westchester Book Company, 975 Paoli Pike, Westchester.  610-696-1661 x14

 

OCTOBER 30 — ATLANTIC BEACH, FLORIDA

7:00 PM: Bookmark Books, 299 Atlantic  Blvd.  904-241-9026

 

NOVEMBER 1 — DOVER, DELAWARE

Appearance at Delaware Book Festival.  Details tk.

 

A few photos:

One of the naughty donkeys (this is Spock):

and here’s the vineyard.  (It doesn’t look like much now, but the grapevines are leafing out.) We’ve planted some varieties that are amenable to our climate including Traminette, Cayuga, Seyval Blanc, and a Muscat grape.  Plus a “reach” grape for us: Cabernet Franc.  I’ll let you know if they survive their first winter!

And my first season’s blueberries, picked from our own fields!

Yesterday, the donkeys got out of their pen.

As we chased them around the field, trying to get them corralled again, I found myself thinking that this was not what most people imagine writers doing in their free time.  And since turning in my final edits a week ago, I’ve been blessed with an abundance of free time — the first free time I’ve had in months.  I’m not accustomed to it.  I wake up every morning ready to be anxious, ready to tackle some new writing task, and suddenly realize: hey, I don’t have to write!  I can do whatever I want to!

And what I’ve chosen to do is work in the hot sun like a field hand.

Besides chasing those naughty donkeys (who eventually were coaxed back into their corral) I’ve been weeding my vegetable garden.  Yesterday, my husband and I installed an irrigation system in our new vineyard — and picked the ticks off each other afterwards.  We’ve been double-digging hard-packed clay soil, enriching it with donkey manure and compost and seaweed, in preparation for a new flower garden next to the barn.  Every night, we’ve collapsed into bed, exhausted and sunburned.

I’ve had the greatest time.

A week ago, starting on the next book was the last thing I wanted to do.  But now, after only a week away from my desk, I can feel the old writing engine start to hum back to life.  I’ve been hearing snatches of dialogue, and a character’s voice — a teenage girl, about fifteen, streetwise and in big, big trouble — and I’m almost ready to sit down and start her story.  But not yet.  I need to let her put down roots first.  I need to let her develop, somewhere in my subconscious, before I tell her story. 

In the meantime, I’m headed back to the vineyard again today, to yank up the last of the winter rye that’s invaded the grapevines.  I need to mulch the asparagus bed and the edamame plants.  And there are lots and lots of blueberries that have ripened in our field over the last few days, and I’ll be picking them for tomorrow’s breakfast.

It’s good to be a writer.  But it’s also good when I don’t have to write.

You can read it HERE.  I’m a regular there every other Tuesday.

A lot of readers have been emailing me, asking about my next book.  I thought I’d give you an advance peek at what’s coming up for Jane Rizzoli and Maura Isles.  Yes, it is another Jane and Maura book, but depending on where you buy the book, you’ll encounter two completely different titles — not to mention two completely different cover designs.  

 Am I trying to confuse my readers?

Not at all.  The reason for the different titles/covers has to do with different sensibilities across “the pond.”  My American publisher and my U.K. publisher couldn’t agree on which title worked better for their different audiences.  So they opted to go with two different titles.  Here they are.

In the U.S., the book will be THE KEEPSAKE:

 

 

But in the U.K., the title and cover will be KEEPING THE DEAD, and here’s their cover:

They’re really different, aren’t they?  And yet, I love them both.  If you asked me to choose between the two, I’d have a hard time deciding. 

This is an example of how publishers in different countries can work completely independently of each other. They know their own audiences.  They know what works in their own markets. 

As an aside, I just happened to notice that the image from my U.K. cover is a photograph taken by Joyce Tennyson — who just happens to live about five miles from where I do — in Maine.  Quite a coincidence, isn’t it?  And I had nothing to do with choosing that photo.

 

Okay.  I’ve been gone from blogging a long a time.  But recently I received some photos that were so cool I just have to share them.  These are from a reader who’s with the space program, and he took these pics of my book GRAVITY while aboard the orbiter DISCOVERY.  These were both taken in the DISCOVERY cockpit.

Sometimes I envy my own books.  I would love to have been there to see DISCOVERY for myself!