Have you ever seen evil in someone’s eyes?
Friday, Sep 15th, 2006 @ 09:53 am
(I posted this over at my Amazon.com plog. And usually I hate to double-post the same text, but I really am hoping to hear from a member of the Sons of Jared, and maybe this will draw them out to talk to me.)
Now that I’m book tour, I’ve been talking to a number of people about THE MEPHISTO CLUB, and about Biblical legends of demons who walk among us. I’m meeting a number of people who have disturbing stories to tell me, people who actually believe they’ve encountered such creatures.
One man, a hairdresser, told me about the woman client whose hair he was cutting. He had never met her before, and she seemed like a perfectly ordinary, pleasant woman. Then she said something that made him focus on her face. As he looked into her eyes, he felt a sudden, soul-shattering chill. He saw something else, something not human, staring back at him. “I instantly backed away,” he said. He had to excuse himself and go into a back room, where he stood shaking and on the verge of tears. It took him some moments before he could bring himself to go back out and finish cutting the woman’s hair. She paid her bill and walked out. He never saw her again.
This happened several years ago. He has never had another experience like it since. But as he told me the story, he was once again shaking, once again frightened. What, exactly, did he see in that woman’s eyes? He still doesn’t know.
His experience isn’t unique. Other people have told me similar stories, of looking into another person’s eyes — usually strangers they’ve never met before — and recognizing something dark and powerful, something that truly, deeply frightened them.
I’m sure this is not new in human history. In the era before Christ, other people must have experienced the same chill, the same sense of fear. They too believed they glimpsed something that was not quite human staring from another person’s eyes. Could this be what sparked the legends of the Nephilim?
If you have a similar story to tell, I’d like to hear it.
And if you are a member of the Sons of Jared, I want to hear from you too. You need not tell me your name.
59 Responses to “Have you ever seen evil in someone’s eyes?”
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September 15th, 2006 @ 10:14 am |
i have encountered this look during my law enforcement career-the “nobody’s home”eyes-not crazy-their eyes are full of rage or fear-but a cold dead look-i recall it on a multiple murderer/prison escapee we had just arrested-his look said he would kill us with no emotion given the opportunity-no anger,just zero in his eyes-we didn’t give him any chances to do so
September 15th, 2006 @ 10:16 am |
what we used to say about people like that was that they lowered the room temperature
September 15th, 2006 @ 10:23 am |
Maybe the hairdresser saw the dark side of his own soul.
I think the truly evil are well-disguised, Tess. They strike without warning. Maybe you should stay away from that guy.
September 15th, 2006 @ 10:32 am |
Jude, I have a personal experience re: how well-disguised evil can be. When I was a child, a beloved family friend came over to visit just a few hours after having murdered someone. I never saw it in his eyes. I never saw it in his mannerisms. He was the same as always — warm and funny and charming. I learned then that I am unable to recognize evil. I just don’t have that sixth sense. Maybe I’m just too much a born skeptic, because I’ve never had any paranormal experiences either.
But maybe there are people who have that instinct to recognize it.
September 15th, 2006 @ 11:09 am |
I wouldn’t say I’ve ever run into that ‘pure evil’ feeling, but we had a co-worker that just gave you a creepy feeling every time he came into the room or started a conversation. Most of the women in my office felt exactly the same way. He was too well-dressed (he was the type to iron his jeans) and was sort of overtly sexual to a few women.
None of the men in the office could see it. They called us all crazy. They said we were just overly sensitive. He was a ‘good guy’ who was good at his job.
Three months later, he was arrested for child molestation. He had seduced a 13-year-old neighbor (and he had been married for several years). The only way it was discovered was that the 13-year-old told a school counselor she was in love with an older man.
Maybe some women can sense this kind of evil better than men. When you get that ’something is just not right with him’ feeling, you should pay attention to it.
September 15th, 2006 @ 11:13 am |
That’s probably true, Tess. I was just thinking…maybe the hairdresser was the evil one and he saw Jesus Christ in that woman’s eyes. He was like a vampire reacting to The Light. Just a thought.
My nephew (he’s 17) had a paranormal experience earlier this summer in Radcliff, Kentucky. He and his Boyscout troop were at a sleepover in the basement of a retired dentist’s office. After everyone was asleep, Jerry and his friend heard some noises from above. They went upstairs to investigate, and heard a dentist’s drill running in one of the rooms. They opened the door and saw a dark foggy shape, and the room was very cold. Then, apparently, the ghost entered Jerry’s body for a time, and he was paralyzed and had a mild seizure with tremors. All this was witnessed by his friend. Spooky, huh?
September 15th, 2006 @ 11:31 am |
When people have an ESP connection, like you will know exactly what the person is wearing without seeing them and then turning out to be correct. Or you will say something that the person was going to say…those things to me seem like paranormal abilities or happenstances at least. It’s very interesting to think that their may very well be something outside of the explanation of science.
September 15th, 2006 @ 11:51 am |
i think the best examples we find of evil people are psychopaths-their needs override anything else-there is no scientific explanation of this condition like there is for scizophrenia for example-they lack something resembling a conscience-some can be very charming,like con artists-but they are all dangerous when their desires are thwarted-i don’t see any connection to the supernatural
September 15th, 2006 @ 1:00 pm |
Tess, have you read the comment on the amazon page? What’s that all about? Weird.
September 15th, 2006 @ 1:23 pm |
I saw evil in the eyes of Richard Ramariz (the infamous Night Stalker).
September 15th, 2006 @ 1:28 pm |
writeforlove, yeah, I noticed that comment. I’m not sure what that’s all about. All I know is, I’m getting more hate mail for this book than I’ve ever gotten on any book before. Something about this subject has hit a nerve, and I’m not sure whether it’s the Biblical sources or the talk about demons.
September 15th, 2006 @ 1:54 pm |
I think any time something semi-religious or Biblical is brought into the picture, you’ll spark quite the response. I love it- I find it not only fascinating at how authors incorporate such topics, but a challenge to your thoughts and beliefs (a good challenge- one that causes the reader to ask questions of their own). It’s just so thought-provoking.
September 15th, 2006 @ 1:59 pm |
PS- do you mind if i respond to that comment on amazon? I won’t say anything bad- I just want to comment on a part of his comment.
September 15th, 2006 @ 2:21 pm |
writeforlove, please do!
September 15th, 2006 @ 5:22 pm |
I’ve never encountered what I’d consider pure evil in someone’s eyes, but I have experienced some rather peculiar reactions to certain individuals. Four or five times in my life, I’ve met people whose faces appear shadowed for a split second. It’s like a storm cloud hovers directly over their features, obscuring them. It clears in a blink, but is normally followed by a sharp pain in my solar plexus that doubles me over. No idea what it means, but I do heed the warning. Thankfully it doesn’t happen often.
September 15th, 2006 @ 8:03 pm |
Tess,
I think it’s the devil thing plus the Biblical sources.
BTW — for some reason this post is making your sidebar to show up below the post in Firefox.
I think the reason is due to
September 15th, 2006 @ 8:04 pm |
I have worked in the pay-for-pray business for 25 years. In that time I encountered many mentally ill people and a few individuals that I would classify as possessed. The church has a ritual to use in the case of verified demon possession but such cases are considered rare. Today we rely on psychiatrists and diagnoses of some form of psycho pathology but to do so is to ignore the reality of the realm of spirits. We like to think of ourselves as enlightened and talk of demons and spirits are relegated to the category of myth or superstition. My personal experience, particularly in developing countries, convinced me of the existence of disembodied evil, whether they are called demons or spirits or influences.
September 15th, 2006 @ 8:04 pm |
When in college in the late 70’s, I attended a speech by Vincent Bugliosi - the prosecutor who put Charles Manson and “family” in prison. I don’t know for sure whether he was just playing to his audience - but his stories of Manson were very much of the “this man was obviously evil - you could see it and feel it…”. And perhaps his words colored my later impressions, but every interview I have seen of Manson on TV has been really creepy.
September 16th, 2006 @ 12:15 am |
I once worked for a woman who had eyes that were pure evil.
No matter what the rest of her face was doing, her eyes were as flat and dead as a doll’s. From her actions it seemed she had no moral compass whatsoever. If I were to ever find out that she had killed someone, I wouldn’t be surprised.
BTW: I just got your book, haven’t started it yet but plan to read it over the weekend. Your title reminds me of a book that I read in the 8th grade called “The Mephisto Waltz” by Fred Mustard Stewart. I remember at the time I read it I thought it was chilling. Have you ever read it?
September 16th, 2006 @ 7:44 am |
I’ve heard some really evil things said about Dr Maura Isles’ proposals for a new wing at the hospital:-
The allergists voted to scratch it.
The dermatologists said it was a rash move.
The gastroenterologists had a gut feeling
about it.
The neurologists thought Maura had a lot of nerve.
The obstetricians accused Maura of laboring
under a misconception.
The ophthalmologists considered the idea
short-sighted.
The orthopedists issued a joint resolution.
The pathologist yelled, “over my dead body!”
The pediatricians said, “grow up.”
The proctologists said, “we are in arrears.”
The psychiatrists thought it was madness.
The surgeons decided to wash their hands
of the whole thing.
The radiologists could see right through it.
The internists thought it was a hard pill to
swallow.
The plastic surgeons said, “this puts a whole new face on the matter.”
The podiatrists thought it was a big step forward.
The urologists felt the scheme wouldn’t hold water.
The cardiologists didn’t have the heart to say no.
Pure evil, I say.
September 16th, 2006 @ 9:00 am |
I’ve actually had to ask evil to leave my home. So yes, I believe in evil. I believe in demons and spirits and angels. I haven’t encountered possession but i have encountered someone who has so given themselves over to the idea of evil that they had those dark, flat eyes, and a cold, cold presence about them. My husband didn’t see it. But I did.
I can’t fully explain what I say, but it was dark and bottomless and cold. And scared me to my very core.
I also believe that evil, and love, leave imprints. Something horrific took place in the home I live in. We didn’t know when we bought the house that murder had occured. It was so far in the past, the previous owners hand’t even been aware. But the house always struck me as unsettled and certain areas I hated to walk into. No rational reason, but I always felt someone watching me when in walked into those areas.
We found out there had a been a murder back when the house was originally built. The murder had taken place in the space I loathed being in the most. We also discovered that a previous owner had been a practicing witch - not wiccan, but darker practices. His alter was in another room I hated being in. We had the house cleansed after we stirred all this up during a major renovation (another story - one that freaks me out thinking about it). Again, my husband felt nothing. I’m just thankful he believed me and that we have friends who are tapped into God in a big way.
Since the cleansing, the house “feels” like a home.
September 16th, 2006 @ 9:51 am |
I saw PURE EVIL in the eyes of Bob Bordella, a Kansas City seriel killer. He was a local business man and to many he seemed odd but not a killer. But if you looked into his eyes, you saw it, and it chilled your blood.
September 16th, 2006 @ 9:55 am |
Ohhh I almost forgot! I bought Mephisto Club and cannot put it down! I only discovered your writings about a month ago and have since read all but 2 books. Keep up the good work! I do have one question…If Joyce O’Donnell were a real person, would we see that evil in her eyes???
September 16th, 2006 @ 10:08 am |
I’m young and have never really seen evil. But an old wives tale from where i am from claims that the extremely young (babies) and the old can see things (paranormal stuff) or feel evil or when something is well, not right.
There have been countless stories to support this however i remain sitting on the fence, as some might call it.
The only time i felt a tingling sensation was when i was coming home from school several years ago. I was 12 and for some reason, i felt pressed. I’m not sure how to describe the feeling but moments later i encountered a flasher. News has been splashed about this particular flasher that has never been caught.
I can’t say I can detect evil but certainly, most of us have the sixth sense, for example, feeling as if someone was watching you.
Perhaps, only some people can actually “see” evil in another’s eyes.
PS: Gosh, i am such a big fan of you books! You should really write more, i’m having a hard time searching for your books.
I’m gonna have to break my neck to find the Mephisto Club. XD
September 16th, 2006 @ 1:45 pm |
Tess, there was only one occasion where I experienced anything close to what you are describing. 5 or 6 years ago I was in our local Buy For Less and I felt what was either total rage or blind hatred. I turned around and some guy was glaring at me. I looked at him for a minute or so and he stare back and then walked off. I can only assume I reminded him of someone else–I’d never seen him before and, fortunately, haven’t since. But that was the only time that I had any kind of sensation like this that actually made me turn around.
September 16th, 2006 @ 4:00 pm |
I cannot find your book ANYWHERE! Books-A-Million doesn’t have it, not that I saw anyway, and Wal-Mart doesn’t have it…I’m starting to wonder if it even came out in Louisiana…
September 16th, 2006 @ 5:09 pm |
You folks are scaring the heck outta me with your stories! Keep them coming!
Gerritsenfever — I’m mystified as to why you can’t find it at BAM, because I know they’re supposed to be selling it! So is Walmart. I hope you’re able to find it SOMEWHERE!
r2 — I remember the movie they made, “Mephisto Waltz.” That was pretty creepy!
Angi — would we see evil in Joyce O’Donnell’s eyes? A good question. Because even I haven’t decided if she’s evil — or just weird.
September 16th, 2006 @ 5:41 pm |
p.s.: gerritsenfever, could you do me a HUGE favor and ask your local Books-A-Million manager if they expect the book to come in at all? Thanks!
September 16th, 2006 @ 6:11 pm |
I made arrangements to pick up some products I bought for a community fundraiser. I arrived at the large, neat home of a known (casually) professional in an upscale neighborhood one afternoon. I left my car running in the driveway with my purse and phone in it. After knocking on the door, the man opened it and told me he would get the items in his kitchen. He asked that I shut the door against the mosquitoes and motioned me into the kitchen. Before handing me the item, he made a verbal pass. Embarrassed, I looked away and told him that this was just not a good time for me to be dating. I glanced at him again and saw his eyes. They had become evil! It took just a glance. I instantly turned and ran the few steps to the door. But I felt the blow and went down. The attack lasted what seemed like hours (it wasn’t) and I was amazed at the strength of my relatively small body. He pinned me down. I screamed so much that I was hoarse for a month. Finally, my screams seemed to lure him into a trance. Slowly he stood, trancelike. I got up, trying to catch me breath between sobs. I saw a phone on a nearby stand. I lunged for it and he attacked again. I threw the phone as far as I could (a few feet) and screamed, “I did it! I dialed 9-1-1! (I hadn’t the chance) 9-1-1 can you hear me? HELP ME 9-1-1!” The attacker lunged for the phone and I escaped to my car, him at my heels. I could have won an Olympic race at that moment. I got away with only minor injuries.
That split second glance into that never before seen “evil eye” was all that I needed to know what to do and conjure up the strength to do it.
September 16th, 2006 @ 8:34 pm |
BA, that is a horrifying story. How lucky you are that you followed your instincts!
September 17th, 2006 @ 1:40 am |
I guess people all have different abilities. I had two premonitions that came true (many years ago) - one was a dream, the other was a very intense feeling. These things scared me and I’m glad they don’t happen anymore. However, in my second novel, a man finds a diary from 1924 in his attic. A couple of months after I had written this part of the novel, I visited my Grandparents. I found the 1934 diary of my great, great aunt in the cellar. Not a spot-on match, I know, but still… Coincidence? I hope so. I told my Grandmother about this and a couple of other ‘writing coincidences’. She was astounded and very interested and said (in a creepy way), “Some people just know things…”
Maybe it’s more like SOMETIMES people just know things. Sometimes they don’t. I was with a man for a handful of years before I found out what he was. Perhaps well concealed EVIL would describe him. Things eventually became abusive and I left. I witnessed him commit a horrible crime not too long after. When I turned him in to the police, I found it was not the first time. So, there we have it: I’m not psychic! Unless I was psychic with a serious blindspot (men) when I was very young. This jerk-off ran from the police and is still wanted by the FBI. I still have nightmares. I’m hoping to work things out through my fiction.
September 17th, 2006 @ 9:24 am |
evil in someones eyes, yes
Nothing I’d like to speak about.
September 17th, 2006 @ 10:11 am |
I can’t say I’ve ever seen “evil” in anyone’s eyes, but I’ve never been particularly good at reading faces. For me, it’s more of a sensing thing. I’ll have this internal moment when I simply know that someone is up to no good or something bad is about to happen. This feeling, sensation, whatever it is, has kept me out of a lot of trouble.
I can think of many times these moments have occurred, but one in particular stands out: I sleep hard, unnaturally hard…once my head hits the pillow, nothing wakes me. Nothing. One night at about 1 a.m., with my son’s dad out of town and my black cat curled into the spoon normally filled by him, my eyes opened suddenly and I noticed a moving shadow outside the patio door of my bedroom just a few feet from my bed. Within a millisecond that seemed like hours, all of the following happened: I sat up straight, realized the shadow was that of a man, that the man was a stranger, that his hand was on the handle of my screen door, that he was opening it, my cat hopped up off my bed onto a dresser and knocked over a glass vase, I started screaming, and my very large and lazy golden retriever woke up and started barking madly.
The man ran. I was six months pregnant at the time and my mind won’t allow me to imagine what might have been.
September 17th, 2006 @ 12:01 pm |
Yes… when I was in South Africa in the early 1980’s I met a man, who chilled my blood. He invited me to be a part of his organization. I made sure that I never met this person again. (I was a missionary at the time).
My companion had thought that he was a good prospect.. and he said the right things. But when she left the room for a moment, he said… that I see you know what I am.
I have never been so afraid in my life.
It was a one time experience.
September 17th, 2006 @ 2:59 pm |
Deffinetly will do that Dr. G…I walked in and didn’t see the book on any display case and I got worried, so I walked to the back and still didn’t see it…there was a line so I didn’t ask the manager about it, but I will be back there this week to ask.
September 17th, 2006 @ 8:09 pm |
BAM placement: Did not notice Mephisto Club in the NEW BOOKS rack at the entrance. I asked for it and BAM had placed it in with the regular fiction.
September 17th, 2006 @ 9:43 pm |
thanks for the bookstore reports. It’s definitely not good news that BAM put a brand new book in with regular fiction!
September 18th, 2006 @ 6:05 am |
i didn’t see the book at Walmart or Target in Rhode Island as of Friday,but maybe it’s changed by now as I’ve been out of town
September 18th, 2006 @ 8:41 am |
I think BAM just doesn’t want any customers, because I don’t think I’ll be going there for my books anymore…I’ll try WalMart again this week for the book, but not BAM
September 18th, 2006 @ 3:14 pm |
I see evil in myself sometimes and then it just passes and i feel like it was never there.Sometimes i want to really hurt some people like hurt them so much for days and then kill them.This feeling came over me first when i was 5years old my mother was cooking dinner for our family and as she was peeling potatos and i got a jug of boiling water and poured it over her.I got severly punnished.Sometimes a feeling of maybe evil comes over me where i want to kill people even my close family.every night i pray for these feelings to leave me.Just today i was thinking of ways to kill my ex girlfriend and all her family and get away with it.Do other people feel like this,i do manage to push these urges down but they always resurface and i am afraid that someday they will take over.
September 18th, 2006 @ 6:33 pm |
LOVED the book! Finished it late last night. (I sure did not want to get up this morning!)Can’t wait for the next one! Any idea when we might expect it? I have no idea what to read between now and then!
Congrats on another great thriller!!!
I LOVED the end!!!
September 19th, 2006 @ 6:30 am |
Angi:
Maybe we need to start a “Countdown Club!” My friends and I start the day the TG publication date is announced, months before. Then, whenever we talk we say, “only 89 days to go!” or whatever. Secretly, I hate that Tess posts here. (Shhh. Don’t tell her!) Selfishly, I wish she was working on entertaining me instead! Only once a year? We go through TG withdrawal for 11-3/4 months a year!
September 19th, 2006 @ 6:32 am |
PS: Actually, we get onto this blog to get our TG fix between books so I am glad she does post.
September 19th, 2006 @ 7:08 am |
Emmett76 : I have to confess (and this is the very first time or place that I have done so) that I occasionally do have ‘urges’ similar to those you described. However, in my case, and this is what is so nonsensical, the urges are only ever felt when I am in the kitchen (where I can see several long, sharp knives) and - here’s the weird bit - when my wife or young children are nearby, in other words the people I love the most and who are the most precious to me. I hate the feelings and I have no idea why they happen, they are involuntary and I feel a deep sense of guilt at the time of their occurrence. It’s a spontaneous thing, in no way pre-meditated, but I wish it would go away. I’ve never thought of it as ‘evil’ in the sense of a third-party spirit whatever, I just think there’s something wrong with me. God, I feel like I’m on a therapist’s couch talking about my innermost secrets here….
September 20th, 2006 @ 2:38 am |
Struggler, I know someone who has this same condition. He says it’s some kind of anxiety thing that’s related to obsessive compulsive disorder. This person has never and would never act on these thoughts, but he suffers with them. I guess people can have obsessive thoughts on pretty much any topic. Mind you, I am no expert, this is just what I have heard. I hear you about the therapist’s couch. I can’t believe some of the stuff I blab about, either!
September 20th, 2006 @ 6:22 am |
I saw a guy yesterday, only for a moment, who instantly reminded me of the Tooth Fairy or Francis Dolarhyde. Only saw him in profile as he didn’t look at me in the eye, so I’ll never know if I actually saw evil but for that moment (and a few moments after!) it did put the shivers up me. Remember the TV movie Manhunter? This guy looked just like the Tooth Fairy in that. Spooky.
September 20th, 2006 @ 8:48 am |
struggler-you’re talking about an actor named tom noonan-he was also in “Heat”,playing a wheelchair-bound criminal genius who sets up a bank heist by intercepting communications sent by the bank-he seemed considerably less menacing in that role-he gained a lot of weight,got bald,and grew a beard
September 20th, 2006 @ 4:51 pm |
BA…Sounds like a plan! I just started reading Tess’s books a little over a month ago so I have not had to play the waiting game…until now. (There are still a couple I have not read.) Can anyone tell me where I can get a list of all of her books in the order they were released? I want to make sure I don’t miss any. I love the way they make the hair stand up on the back of my neck!!
September 20th, 2006 @ 4:52 pm |
Scratch the request for a place to find a list of books…I am such a dork today
September 22nd, 2006 @ 8:37 pm |
I truly believe that eyes are windows to one’s soul. I have seen evil very recently in the eyes of the killer who gunned down innocent student on a Montreal College campus (Dawson
September 14 2006..Have a look
http://www.cbc.ca/canada/ottawa/story/2006/09/14/gunman-shooting.html
September 23rd, 2006 @ 8:52 pm |
Struggler and Emmett, I don’t think that having weird and inappropriate thoughts is unusual — yet seldom do people even dare to confess that they have them. But when they really start to scare us or we think we might actually act on them, it’s probably time to seek help in dealing with them. Emmett, I do hope you’ll find someone to talk to if these impulses start to feel overpowering.
September 24th, 2006 @ 12:07 pm |
Whilst reading this book I had to get up and check that my windows and doors were locked because deep down I know that there is raw evil in the world ready and waiting to destroy and lash out. Growing up, I attended parochial school and we were taught, although thankfully not in detail, that there are indeed mystical and demonic forces at work in the world all around us. Kaballah, jewish mysticism, teaches about such mystical and evil forces. I think you did an amasing job of weaving interesting historical/biblical detail into a riveting storyline.
“Eyes are the window to the soul”….and so, I try never to look a person in the eye until I get a strong vibe/sense of him/her. I say “ignorance is bliss” and I would rather not know or see evil up close ever!
I can’t wait for the next book…Kudos Ms. Gerritsen!!
September 24th, 2006 @ 12:50 pm |
I was reading over this entire blog and I was a little worried about one of the posts.
The truth is there a many times when everyone sees “red” and marvels in the idea of lashing out in fierce anger but they never act upon it. I have had them many times but once I have really thought about it, the thoughts disappear and anger usually goes with it. Thoughts in of themselves are not a problem. It’s a socially acceptable way for your brain to release some of it’s frustrations and anxieties without hurting yourself or anyone else. If however, the desire and impulse becomes overpowering and you find yourself spending a lot of time thinking about it or planning ways to go through with it, I suggest seeking out some help. There is nothing wrong or shameful about needing help and I would say it takes a strong and courageous person to ask for it.
The point is many people have thoughts and there is nothing wrong with a thought as long as it ultimately stays, just a thought.
September 26th, 2006 @ 9:29 am |
June, you weren’t worried about MY post, were you? I wish I’d never confessed now!
October 1st, 2006 @ 11:24 am |
I had problems last year finding “Vanish’ at the Books-A-Million in Greenville, SC! I ended up preordering ‘Mephisto Club’ through B&N. I have to say, it was well worth the wait! This one has to be your best novel so far. You had me scratching my head with Lily. I won’t say anymore since I don’t want to spoil it for the other who might not have read the book yet.
I knew a child in the 70’s when I was in gradeschool, who I thought was pure evil. He never smiled or laughed that I can remember and had that blank stare and I swear his eyes were black as coal. One day I saw him stomp on a lizard like it was nothing and walk away without a word. *shiver*
October 5th, 2006 @ 5:22 pm |
Struggler, I believe that everyone has two parts to them. You have the one that you allow people to see and the one that tends to be private being the part that has impulses that would be considered abnormal. If these impulses were to be carried out then you would be considered an evil person, however there are very few of us that are not able to repress these impulses. It is almost like you have an incontrollable moment of rage but then you realise it is unfounded. I suffer from these most when I am stressed, however I do not hide these from people I tell them. I always say I am feeling the rage, we have a laugh and the feeling subsides. I believe that these are normal feelings, and it is just that people do not normally talk about things that unsettle them, that makes it almost taboo!
October 17th, 2006 @ 6:15 am |
bitchinsahsa, Emmett76, Tess : I’m still reading this strand because it’s interesting - and feel compelled to clarify my ‘feelings’. I have two precious and beautiful little daughters who quite frankly are the main reason for my wanting to live for many years to come, but inexplicably I get these thoughts (rather than urges or compulsions) when I’m preparing a meal in the kitchen, usually when I’m slicing and dicing some vegetables or something like that. In other words, I have a knife in my hand, a long sharp knife. Nothing unusual in that of course, but one or other of the girls will keep coming into the kitchen to demand something (as they do!) or perhaps just to ask where mummy’s gone, if she’s out. My feeling is a mixture of guilt that there’s my innocent, vulnerable daughter close to me while I’m holding something that instantly transforms from something innocuous for slicing mushrooms into a lethal weapon, and a vision of stabbing my little daughter. Needless to say I have never stabbed anyone of any age and have never contemplated it, so why I get these guilt/violent visions I have no idea. I don’t ‘hear voices’, I’m not emotionally unstable, although I suppose I have been suffering from stress in recent years (business related), if that’s any guide.
I’m not evil though, despite wondering if the best way to create genuine notoriety for the book I plan to write one day - it doesn’t involve murder at any point, but does include violence - would be to carry out all the acts of violence myself shortly before publication date! Suddenly a work of fiction would become factually based….I wonder if that’s ever been done before? I should add that the victims in the book are real people, with their names changed, and I know who they are even though they have no idea who I am, they’ve never heard of me. When I heard what these seven people had variously done (over a 15 year period) to a single woman my initial urge was to seek vengeance on her behalf; instead I decided to write a book about her life. It’s serious stuff; the woman has been raped many times, she has been left disabled as a result of other unrelated actions, and she has been conned out of her life savings by another unrelated person. If anything, my instinct isn’t one of ‘evil’ but the opposite of it, whatever that is…to seek exact retribution, such that rapists are raped in return, for example in the fashion of ‘an eye for an eye’ justice.
If anyone’s still reading this, please say what you think of my comments!
November 2nd, 2006 @ 1:17 am |
I JUST WANTED TO SAY THAT I AM CURRENTLY READING “VANISH” WHICH I AM ASHAMED TO SAY IS THE THE FIRST TESS GERRITSEN BOOK THAT I HAVE EVER READ. BUT I JUST CAN NOT SEEM TO PUT IT DOWN….WELL UNTIL NOW…AND THAT’S ONLY BECAUSE I NEEDED SOME TIME TO REST MY BRAIN. I AM REALLY ENJOYING JANE RIZZOLI’S WIT AND PERSONALITY. TESS REALLY KNOWS HOW TO DRAW A READER IN.
November 10th, 2006 @ 11:05 am |
I can’t say I’ve ever encountered evil in someone’s eyes…but I do have a story.
Maybe 10 years or so ago there were a couple local stories of cults doing rituals up in one of the cemeteries around my hometown. At the time, reading about the occult fascinated me, not to the point that I wanted to dabble in it, but I wanted to find out more about the people involved. So a friend and I decided to go to the cemetery…it is called Quaker Cemetery. It was around dusk, I didn’t want to go at NIGHT, in case the cult would be there. The cemetery is literally out in the boondocks…farmland all around and the nearest house maybe a 1/2 mile away or so. So we parked our car and walked into the brick building on the cemetery grounds and walked in…in the center of the building was a sacrifice circle with the pentagram in the middle, they also had to fireplace on either side of the building, I walked over to them, and I don’t know what was inside them, but something had been burned.
The way the cemetery sits is on a hillside, so the graves are down the hillside past the building, which when you walk down, you can’t see the road. We walked down to look at some of the headstones…and for the life of me, to this day, I can’t remember what one of the headstones said, but it was a child’s headstone. Whatever the writing was on the stone, freaked me out so much that I told her, I’m done here and I won’t be back and walked up to the car and locked the door (cause THAT would’ve helped:). She stayed for a few extra minutes and then came back up and we left and have yet to ever go to that cemetery again, and I don’t plan on it anytime soon.
-Lynn