A first for me — hitting the blog delete button
Monday, Sep 3rd, 2007 @ 01:58 pm
Wiser people than I am have emailed me, urging me to delete all references to a certain reader who’s been the subject of my last few blogs. And you know what? They’re right. I have a tendency to blog before I think, which leads to some posts I’ve come to regret. Up till now, I haven’t deleted a thing because my posts are at-the-moment reflections of what it feels like to be a writer, good and bad. But as my email advisers have pointed out, there’s no point giving certain people unwanted attention.
So I’m going to delete those posts.
But many writers have to deal with nasty reader letters. I recently spent a lovely evening with another writer, and of course our conversation got around to just this subject. She told me about the reader who lambasted her for having a character who smoked — how dare she promote tobacco use! This writer now has her husband screen her email, just to shield her from the worst letters. We shook our heads at how the oddest things can enrage a reader. I, for instance, once got an angry email from a woman who said I’d given breastfeeding a bad name, all because Jane Rizzoli was having such a hard time figuring out how to breastfeed. Then there’s the acquaintance who’ll never talk to me again because I’d cast aspersions on foreign adoptions in HARVEST.
If you’re a writer, I’d love to hear about your weird reader letters. Email me about the most outrageous, scary, or insane letter you’ve ever gotten from a reader. I’ll share your tales on this blog — and I promise not to name any names!
23 Responses to “A first for me — hitting the blog delete button”
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.

September 3rd, 2007 @ 3:58 pm |
Well different strokes I guess. I liked the fact that Rizzoli was unsure of herself and had a hard time getting the knack of breastfeeding. There seems to be this myth that once a woman has a baby that the Maternal Instinct just kicks in and it’s all Sunshine Happy Rainbows. And if you aren’t the second coming of Madonna And Child that you’re obviously a freak of nature and not a “real woman.” I say bah humbug.
September 3rd, 2007 @ 4:04 pm |
Here’s my question and it’s a rhetorical one. Don’t these people have lives? One of the two owners of my favorite bookstore handled something like this rather well once. In this case it was a customer who had the owner confused with Dr. Phil and saw the need to call her up and obsess over what was going wrong in her personal life. Finally, the owner had had enough and said, “Hang up the phone and clean your house.” I think this is sound advice. Sounds to me that some of these “lost souls” are so busy fooling around on the internet that they don’t even take out the trash. [Note to Wendy: I like your style.]
September 3rd, 2007 @ 5:12 pm |
My main character’s name is Lee Henry Oswald. Where would you like me to start?
September 3rd, 2007 @ 5:16 pm |
Unfortunately, I have not had any fan or anti-fan mail. Maybe some day. I do get some good comments on my blog about my essays.
Oh wait, I did have someone take offense to the way I used primordial. LOL
September 3rd, 2007 @ 5:27 pm |
Pointing out a certain scene, a reader once said my protag was too much of a bully and a hothead. She said it reminded her of something Mickey Spillane might write.
I took it as a compliment.
September 3rd, 2007 @ 5:55 pm |
I’ve only gotten a few hate mails, which suprises me because I’m often an outspoken dick.
Of the ones I remember, there was a lady who said Rusty Nail was irredeemable and disgusting, and that my publishers were worse than OJ and should be ashamed for printing such filth.
Another took issue with a satirical short story I wrote, because the ending implied a dog would be euthanized. She called me an animal hater. I have three dogs, and love them more than several of my children, so I’m pretty sure I’m not an animal hater. but I do believe that anything can be joked about, especially since humor and fear are so closely aligned to begin with.
The only hate mail I’ve ever written was to some insensitive jerk who named his hero after that guy who shot Kennedy.
September 3rd, 2007 @ 6:00 pm |
I’m pleased to hear that you have decided to delete the posts Tess. It’s kind of sad, and sad too that people should resort to such behaviour, but it’s the right thing to do to wipe away any sense of satisfaction that attention is being drawn to the loser who has been virtually stalking you. I personally don’t yet have any crank messages to pass on to you, but you’ll get a copy of my first one, I promise!
September 3rd, 2007 @ 6:09 pm |
One of my writer friends received a letter from a guy in prison who wanted to know if the writer had ever killed anyone, because he wrote about it very realistically. He wanted to get together after he’d served his time and compare notes.
I recently received an email from a reader who felt one of my books had too much emphasis on plot and character development. (Uh….okay…)
Actually, that’s not quite as silly as it initially sounds. The reader wanted more combat and magic. But still, that amused me.
September 3rd, 2007 @ 6:53 pm |
As a part time writer, Im not known outside a small circle of people who I get to read my stuff so that when its ready for the big world its been polished to within an inch of its life.
Now what my critiques have said is that they wanted more of a bit character rather than the main guy even though Ive killed the guy off. They liked the main Protagonist a lot but for some reason this PT character just struck a bigger chord. Go figure. Just wondering if thats ever happened to anyone else? Has it happened to you Tess?
September 3rd, 2007 @ 6:54 pm |
You should hire a hitman…’nuff said. Smiles Tess, only 15 more days!! I know that isn’t what this blog is about but I will hopefully be able to relate one day, although I hope nobody sends me hate mail.
September 3rd, 2007 @ 8:42 pm |
Tess -
This is a little bit scary and raises a question of safety.
Do writers change the spelling of their names and/or use a maiden name or pseudonym to avoid atracting stalkers (like a prisoner, for instance?) Or is it just never going to be a problem?
PS I believe all maternity hospitals now have lactation specialists. It’s just not as easy as it looks in the movie “Blue Lagoon.” I was successful with three children but only because a nurse showed me what to do and the La Leche League was there when I needed them.
September 3rd, 2007 @ 8:50 pm |
This kind of thing always reminds me of poor Thomas Harris (SILENCE OF THE LAMBS)
He did SUCH a tremendous job of writing a serial killer that theres virtually NOTHING on the internet about him(Harris).
No interviews or blogs or even fan sites……
Aside from (again, I am assuming, but as I said, there is no counter-info anywhere to confirm this to be true—) being typecast as a serial killer writer…he probably has a team of screeners look at everything he might read so that he doesnt see whatever crazy ‘fan’ mail might slip through from number one fans who simply want to have lunch with the guy and compliment him on writing so realistically. (and of course there may be the other kind of number one ‘fan’ who wants to HAVE him for lunch- literally!)
Poor Harris must live in solitude wherever he is.
And of course he COULD write other stuff under an assumed name…and perhaps he already does and its a well kept secret.
September 4th, 2007 @ 12:19 pm |
I agree with your advisers: never give a ‘Sock Puppet’ an even break.
Speaking from the unpublished writer crowd, I’d love to have the bad fan mail problem, or… any fan mail problem.
September 4th, 2007 @ 1:09 pm |
I’m not a writer, but as an avid reader I can only say… people, it is FICTION. My gosh! Just because you writers have such wonderful imaginations and the creative talent to make your tales so believable, people take offense. Geez…
I feel for you. (Oh, and btw, I love the books by Harry Hunsicker!)
September 4th, 2007 @ 7:23 pm |
I’m not published yet, but I ran a blog where I talked about my work in progress. After I finished writing my latest manuscript, I excitedly announced the title of the book. I received an email from a guy who was very upset because he had written a book by the same name and wanted me to change mine or he would sue me…even though I was an UNPUBLISHED writer! Geesh.
September 4th, 2007 @ 9:14 pm |
You can’t copyright a title, Peggy. Call your book whatever you want to. Some writers are very protective of their pre-published titles for that reason.
When I came up with the title for my novel on submission, I checked Amazon and found no other books there with the same name. Now, there’s a self-published novel there with the same title as mine. It doesn’t matter. I’m not changing it unless it sells and my publisher insists on something different.
September 5th, 2007 @ 9:44 am |
Tuttle, Thomas Harris divides him time between Sag Harbor and FL. He spent a great deal of time in Italy researching “Hannibal.” Info about him is there, just need to look for it. IMO, he’s not hiding from the weirdos, just busy enjoying his money.
ec: Yikes!
Lorra: Jeremiah Healy recommends all women writers use a pen name to keep the stalkers at bay. But it’s not just gals - this summer Randy Wayne White had a stalking female fan show up at his house.
Bernard: Agree on first point: Internet 101 - Don’t feed the trolls.
Disagree on second point: If I’m ever published, I’ll spend what little money I get hiring someone to screen my emails/myspace messages to weed out and delete anything nasty or negative.
But I’ll be sure to send you a positive fan letter!
Tess: Glad you saw the light. S—- just gets her ego fed when you write about her. Vent all you want privately, but IMO, posting hate-mail even without naming names still feeds the ego of the writer and will perpetuate the behavior.
I have “Bone Garden” on order! Just waiting for it’s arrival.
September 5th, 2007 @ 4:56 pm |
Now I’m feeling inadequate cuz we don’t get weirdo fan letters. Although there was one woman who was mad at us because she was halfway through the book before she realized our protag Louis was black. She said that we had a “duty as writers” to tell us that right in the beginning. Huh…
But my favorite fan is a guy who for years signed all his emails “Leaky Meat.” Then suddenly, he stopped writing. We figured he went to prison or something but then we got an email from “Larry” saying he was Leaky but his wife made him change his name. Met him at Boucheron two years ago. Nicest, most normal guy in the world…
September 6th, 2007 @ 10:09 am |
I had one reader repeatedly insist that she was the character in my first book and how dare I write lies about her. I made the mistake of replying to her first nutty message and then couldn’t get rid of her for months. Don’t know if she’s still trying because I now block her messages.
September 6th, 2007 @ 7:22 pm |
Tess,
You know what? I know it hurts, but I think you let the little comments get to you too much… You’re a fantastic writer, and a genuinely great person. I just got back from the MWC&R (fantastic, by the way! Life-changing in fact), and people there GUSHED about you (especially a few of your former students!)…
Don’t let ‘em get you down!
September 7th, 2007 @ 12:03 pm |
Some of the oddest comments I get come from readers and reviewers who confuse the characters with the author. I’ve had people who couldn’t pick me out in a half-empty elevator knowingly state that I have contempt for the religious life and for law and order, based on a couple of rogue-type characters and a young paladin just getting introduced to the concept of moral dilemna. Apparently the concept of “unreliable narrator” does not compute.
An editor once told me of an author who frequently gets invited to three-somes and more-somes when she attends conventions. Her books include such things, so some readers make assumptions.
And a friend of mine actually fielded death threats when he killed off a much-loved character. Unfortunately, his young daughter saw one of these letters and was understandably shaken.
September 8th, 2007 @ 12:34 pm |
hmm i’m one of those people who are stubbornly opinionated and painfully blunt, so i’d say you’re completely within your right to complain…
haha well, point is, so long’s you know what you’re doing, you can pretty much brush aside everything else you don’t need to consider, so as hard as it is, just take hate mail lightly and it helps if you spite the sender simply by being amused.
September 24th, 2007 @ 4:31 pm |
Perhaps the complaint may lose hydraulics like a crashing twin otter (which mayn’t have much for hydraulics) and bellyflop on it’s fixed landing gear! If looking for disappointment - it can be found, and I suppose for shipping and handling. Sometimes, the format carries credibility or the S*ll!es of the world earn their disappointment. I think, adulatory comments or discerning readers can be awkward, too?